My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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