i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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