Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize