I will die if light touches me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
