She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
