Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
