i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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