doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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