Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think people are normalizing furries
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