You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My life is pants optional.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
