Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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