thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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