Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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