idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
