So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
