I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need to calm my uterus...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
