Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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