i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The power of my boobs compel you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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