If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
