there's paper in my vomit.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
