Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
