so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
