Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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