ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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