So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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