i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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