I just saw a hot homeless man
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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