we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
