It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
