You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
