he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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