You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
