Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
