He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
