i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
