it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
