When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
