Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
