I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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