is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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