new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You should frame my arrest warrant.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
