i barfeds in our rink
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
