You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize