It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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