JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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