I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
