if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
