I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
