Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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