I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
