I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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