WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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