You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize