Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
