oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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