Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize