Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
