I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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