I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
