there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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