hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your dad touched me again.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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