I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
